Sunday, July 27, 2008

Arctic Chill Slams Netherworld

This morning at breakfast, Lucifer was wearing a stocking cap, parka, and leather gloves while reading the Sunday New York Times, where he found on the front page Ms. Tavernise's lead story, "A Shiite Militia in Baghdad Sees Its Power Wane." Meanwhile, Beelzebub was trying to order space heaters for the other fallen angels. The zeal with which he worked to get the first shipment FedExed to Hades derived mostly from the fact that not only the New York Times but the Associated Press had published an article in which the V-word (victory, of course) was mentioned, an article improbably titled (if you've been following the AP's handiwork over the last five years) "Analysis: US now winning Iraq war that seemed lost.

Hold it, hold it, hold it. The United States now winning the war?! I generally smirk at people peddling stories of alien abduction, but I may have to re-think that cavalier attitude. Is it possible that the editors at AP have been replaced by the folks that Mulder and Scully have been tracking all these years? Has anyone noticed a kind of dead-faced chain-smoker hanging around the AP offices recently?

Michael Totten has written an article for Commentary ("Defining 'Victory' in Iraq") on what these developments might mean for Iraq.

In "Who Could Have Guessed?" Iraq Pundit expresses surprise that both the NYTimes and the AP have suddenly acknowledged that the once-tauted and feted "firebrand" cleric, Muqtada al-Sadr, might just be a local loser, and not the august mover-and-shaker of the Iraqi people. Ya think?

From sources in the arrondisement of Hell where Saddam Hussein is suffering for eternity, we have learned that up to just a few days ago he was roasting on a barbecue spit, but now is turning blue and his teeth have started to break apart from the uncontrollable chattering that came with the cold front that has descended on Lucifer's Kingdom. From what I hear, Saddam Hussein is now looking back fondly on his spiderhole.

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