Sunday, December 04, 2005
IBC Says: We Have Located Ladybird - Missing Iraqi Blogger Found
By Mister Ghost.
Images by DC, the Stargate Group, and the Unarians
We Have Located Ladybird. The Famed Iraqi Communista of Baghdad Dweller has been found.
The Iraqi Ingenue has been missing since November 11, 2005, when she blogged her last Post: "Where Does Your Gas Money Go" a variation of a similar theme expressed in a thousand other posts of hers, such as:
George Bush Is Evil
America Is Stealing Iraq's Oil Wealth
Haliburton Is Stealing Iraq's Oil Wealth
The US Is Targeting Journalists
The US Has Made A Mess Out Of Iraq
George Bush Is Corrupt
American Troops Are Using Chemical Weapons
American Soldiers Kill Innocent Iraqis
America Is Giving Iraq To The Iranians
Fallujah: Americans Ruined A Beautiful Peaceful Happening Town
American Troops Are Shooting Iraqi Children
George Bush Is Shooting Innocent Iraqi Children And Giving Their Oil To The Iranians
I Like Hairy Professional Wrestlers In Tight Trunks
I'm Getting Drunk This Weekend Over At Nadia's
I Get Hot Flashes And Very Excited When I Think Of The Wonders Of Communism
And then she went silent with nothing more heard
from her. Concern was etched across the faces of
the IBC Blogging Team, as the days went by and everyone's favorite Ladysweetie remained incommunicado.
Desperation took hold. We missed our Ladysweetie.
We could not rest until she was found. Finally a plan was hatched.
On November 30, 2005, after days of worry at Iraqi Bloggers Central over Ladybird's Continued Absence, IBC's CMARII engaged his Military Contacts and Project Ladyseeker was initiated.
Project Ladyseeker involved the newly reformed, highly covert Stargate Group of Remote Military Viewers.
During the 1990s, the Defense Department utilized the Stargate Group to seek out Military Targets, Underground Installations, Hidden WMD Facilties,
and Bunkered Complexes through the use of Remote Viewing, a Psychic Phenomena that allows the mind to accurately visualize the location of distant objects, people, and places.
The Stargate Group, during their 1990s tenure, exhibited a "high degree of accuracy" in successfully pinpointing the location of distant targets, but was decommissioned due to funding cuts by the Clinton Administration.
Since nothing is too good for our Ladysweetie, CMARII called in a lifetime of favors owed to him
by several high-ranking drinking buddies and DOD officials and thankfully got the Stargate Group recommissioned.
Project Ladyseeker was given both the Go-Ahead and Top MJ-13 Clearance.
Work began immediately at a Highly Classified Military-Industrial Complex in a Base located somewhere in an Eastern European country next to a Top Secret CIA Prison Camp for Al Qaeda Detainees and Captured Non-Uniform Combatees.
Non-stop, 24-hours-a-day, Striker Teams of Highly Sensitive Remote Viewers sprung in to action at the facility to ferret out Ladybird's whereabouts.
At 1500 hours on December 3, 2005, the Striker Team
codenamed Mo, Larry, and Curly experienced several Positive Target Acquisitions and forwarded the results and images of Ladybird to IBC this morning.
Ladybird had been found!
And we have her images!
In this photo, we see Ladysweetie in her very own
Flying Saucer, the S.S. Ladybird, hovering over the
Interdimensional Access Point to the Arab Parallel Universe above Easter Island, as she awaits the Famous Statues of the Island to open the Dimensional Gateway and allow her passage to the APU.
Success! The Dimensional Gateway has been breached and Ladybird (looking very much like the late Ruth Norman of the Unarians UFO Cult) has arrived at a Secret Location in the APU. There, she profiles her new APU Apartment Complex, as she awaits her fellow members of the APU: Faiza, Raed, Nikki, and Khalid Jarrar; Najma, HNK, Dr. 'Truth Teller', Riverbend, Truth About Iraq, Nadia, Jon, and Micheal to swoop on down in their UFOs and join her for a Conspiracy-Riddled Celebration.
So, there you have it. Ladybird has been found
and we can't tell you how Happy we are to hear
the Good News.
Just don't fly that UFO over the White House, Ladysweetie, or George Bush will personally shoot you down.