Thursday, October 27, 2005

Predictions And Prophecies For The Iraqi & Kurdish Bloggers

By the Power of the Dread Dormammu...By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth... By the Shimmering Shades of the Seraphim...May the Crystal Ball of Divination reveal all that will Be for the Iraqi & Kurdish Bloggers.

Yes...Startling Images are Forming... Through the Etheral Mists they Arise... Murky Shapes of Events from Future Times becoming Sharp and Focused...I See the Future now within my Grasp and will Reveal All.


Omar Fadhil - Will become the new Dentist-Leader of Syria replacing the old Dentist-Leader Bashir, who will suffer a tragic accident, where he'll be shot in the back, tossed off a cliff,
and end up six feet under with bags of lime being dropped on his head. Meanwhile, Omar, the Great Emancipator will free the Slaves, bring forth Women's Suffrage, and strike back against the Japanese Sneak Attack on Damascus - all special characteristics of American Presidents, but they work well the world over.

Ladybird- Will be Born Again as she converts to Christianity and marries in to the Bush Family, where she'll become President's Bush's Top Moslem Advisor and Under Secretary of State to Condoleeza Rice, whom she'll still call a liar but do so with lots of love in her big Christian Heart.

Medya- A Hot Turkish Girlfriend is in the works for Medya and an elopement to Canada, where Medya will perform a duet on stage with his beloved Celine Dion.

Riverbend - Will Mope Intensely and Dislike the New Iraqi Constitution.

Najma- Will Graduate from High School and shock her family by running off with an American Soldier, whom she'll slug and call an Occupier. Najma will head off to College in the States to become a Pharmacist. All the old Iraqi bloggers were Dentists; all the new Bloggers will be Pharmacists. There's something in the air.

Nabil- He'll continue his Pharmaceutical Studies and earn extra money in his spare time by being a Male Exotic Dancer.

HNK- She will go off to College to become a Pharmacist for Rock Stars. See what I mean! Every Damn Iraqi is now a pharmacist. What happened to the good ol' days of the Blogging Dentists?

Hammorabi- Sam will start his own chain of Fish Restaurants in Iraq called Sam's Shark House, where he'll introduce the Iraqi People to the wonders of Fried Clams and Shrimp Balls.

Neurotic Iraqi Wife - Will visit the North Pole on her next vacation and swap hair-coloring techniques with Mrs. Claus.

Mohammed Fadhil - Will form a new party: The Chick Magnets for Democracy Party, and pledge to every voter: Free Love, a copy of Mo's Best Dating Techniques, and the Karma Sutra Translated in to Arabic.

"Truth About Iraqis"- Will be starring
in the Role of Cousin It in the Off Broadway Tour of the New Addams Family.

Ritzy Mabrouk - Honorary Iraqi/Kurd Mabrouk will introduce the Victoria's Secret See-Through Burkha to the Mid East.

Dr. Hanoudi - We hope for a Full Recovery for his son.

Fayrouz- Fay will have a private audience at the Vatican with Pope Benedict XVI, and later go Drag Racing in the Pope Mobile around St. Peter's Square.

Raghda- A Book, Cat Blogger of Baghdad
is in the works.

Ali Fadhil- Dr. Ali, Child Psychiatrist
will debut on the radio in 45 Iraqi Cities and Villages next Spring.

Salam Pax - It's Nuptials for Salam and Andrew Sullivan, the Power Blogger Wedding of the Century in June in Provincetown.

Vlad Poetin- Honorary Kurd Vlad will go back in time to rule over his own Medieval Fiefdom, battling Jutes, Danes, and Herring-Breath Norwegians for supremacy over the North Lands.

Kurdo - To become part of Kurdistan's First Troupe of Skydiving Elvis Impersonators.

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