Thursday, October 13, 2005

New Mongrel on the Block

I've just finished reading all the entries in the archives for Truth about Iraqis. The guy writing the blog is the result of an unfortunate ANSCHLUSS between an Iraqi man and an Austrian women. Playing the COY MISTRESS, he doesn't tell us where he is currently living and he doesn't give us his name. For now I'll just call him Mongrel.

At the beginning of his blog, he spent his time reading Iraqi bloggers and complaining about how they didn't live up to his personal standards of excellence (heh heh). For example, early on he takes on the Doleful Dame of Baghdad Herself, Riverbend.
But back to Riverbend, let's see here ... ah, yes, after reading her blog over the course of the past 18 months I can't help but feel she - and her "guests" (her brother, who she refers to as E.) - seem to take on a holier-than-thou attitude.

There is a consistent scolding of the media, of the American public for believing this or that (“They’ll believe anything.” E. sighed. “No matter what sort of absurdity they are fed, they’ll believe it. Think up the most outrageous lie… They have people who’ll believe it.”), and a sarcastic read of Iraq's political future.

She also speaks rather harshly of the undemocratic democracy in Iraq, yet she has access to such American shows as CBS' Early Show and other mundane news programs brought to you courtesy of Arab satellite programming from Dubai and Saudi Arabia. Both are full of American sitcoms, Oprah harping on and on, and Dr. Phil.

I think what irks me about Riverbend's blog is the lack of vision. Saddam is gone, finished. The Sunnis will never regain the level of influence they once had. Crying about it won't change a thing (when I first read Riverbend, I thought the River inference was about crying me a river...well, you get the point).

You berate this and that, find some fault with this politician or that legislator, yet you never share with us an alternative. How would you build Iraq? If you are qualified to dissect the current interim government or find scandal and criminal activity in their pasts, then you are certainly qualified to plot out a course for a future Iraq.

Furthermore, why no criticism of the former government of Saddam Hussein? Saddam was a butcherer who went after his opponents with the zeal and ferocity of Stalin/Pol Pot/Jack the Ripper. Thousands of Iraqis - and a few non-Iraqis living in Iraq - were tortured and executed by Saddam's mukhabarat police.

Saddam's asinine invasion of Kuwait utterly destroyed the fabric of governance in Iraq, tore families asunder, introduced wide-scale prostitution and drug abuse in Iraq. The thriving, sophisticated middle class (of which Riverbend is likely a member) was forced into emigration.

Hmm...I think she loses a share of credibility by side-stepping Saddam's illustrious past.

In any case, of all bloggers Riverbend offers the most intricate and penetrating account of life in Iraq post the occupation. You might not agree with her, but it is still vivid and moving. Her political analysis is pointed, clear, and experienced -which makes me wonder if she is really a 26-year-old woman or a disgruntled former Baathist government employee.
This is a reasonable assessment of Riverbend's blog, right? Right. Later, however, Mongrel falls in love with Riverbend and LICKS HER DOC MARTENS (no kidding).

His blog is worth reading just for the unintentionally comic entries where he EMOTES about MOTHER SHEEHAN and puts his arm around GERALDO RIVERA and cries CROCODILE TEARS over MOTHER KATRINA.

He wears his EDGY-CATION like a gold medal on his Wendy's Uniform, dropping references to the Peace of Westphalia like we're supposed to immediately drop trow and pay honor to Professor Mongrel.

Go and read Mongrel because he has all the answers, folks. No need to debate anymore. Just pull up a chair and listen:
Don't tell me terrorists destroyed Iraq. Oh, wait, you meant the illegal invaders, the foreign occupiers. The ones wearing the stars and stripes on their sleeves, the ones wearing the union jack. Yes, they are terrorists and they have destroyed Iraq.
Hey, that's clear, isn't it?

After an hour of reading Mongrel's blog entries, I am left with one image. He's the kind of guy who wipes his ass with his left hand as he picks his nose with his right.

Welcome to the Iraqi Blogosphere, Mongrel!

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For all those SLACKER DUDES like ME who wished for a KEWL TRANSLATION of the Zawahiri letter, Nadz comes through again:
Zawahiri7: anyhoo, did u get my letter?

ZarqaGuy123: ya. what's wrong with killin infidels? they suck :(

Zawahiri7: i know, but it makes us look bad. ppl might start to notice that we are assholes who kill people and blow up mosques.

Zawahiri7: how r we gonna establish an islamic caliphate if we lose public opinion? we need 2 keep going after amerika and israel, that's popular, and ignore the part about us imposing an oppressive sharia system.

ZarqaGuy123: but i wanna kill the Shiites! and anyone who disagrees with me. grrr...

Zawahiri7: we need to win in iraq now. we need to keep aljazeera and the hippies focused on the occupation, not on how evil we are
Is it just me, or does Zarqawi sound like Raed Jarrar?

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Ibn Alrafidain analyzes the proposed Constitution and decides he will vote YES on Saturday.
As I'm writing this post the Iraqi political parties, participants in the political process, have reached a compromise to comply with the Sunnis demands to review the constitution within four months after the elections of 15 December 2005.

Most of the Iraqis know very little about the details of the new constitution. So, they are going to vote according to what the clerics & the tribes' leaders would say.

For me, I'll say (YES) for the constitution since it represents a milestone in the long journey to achieve better life to the coming Iraqi generations.

God bless Iraq
.
I wonder if Riverbend is UNDECIDED? We haven't heard very much from Riverbend and Raed Jarrar lately, have we. I wonder WHY.

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The Religious Policeman has a strange little tale for us today.
Young Ahmad was a naive young lad who always wanted to be a suicide bomber. He really fancied the idea of seventy two virgins in Paradise, although he did enjoy raisins as well. He went off to Iraq where he learnt to drive a truck. Then those devious Iraqis asked him to drive a gasoline truck, and when he was halfway down the street they blew it up, causing him terrible injuries.

Fortunately that kind Prince Nayif had him repatriated to Saudi Arabia. He got a nice hospital bed and a bunch of flowers. He even appeared on TV. Sadly, though, his wounds worsened, and gangrene set in. Eventually, the doctors had to amputate all four limbs.
The story does NOT end there. Read the whole thing, as they say.

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Over at Michael J. Totten's one of the commenters quipped that Syrian Interior Minister Kanaan's death was no doubt a case of "assisted suicide."

*cough*Kevorkian*cough*

Heh heh. Gotta love it.

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