Thursday, June 23, 2005

Bil Doritos, Bil Cubanos, Nifdeek ya Saddam!

“Bil rooh, Bil Dem, Nifdeek ya Saddam” (with life, with blood, we sacrifice for you Saddam).

In case you missed it, a couple months ago Akbar of Iraq Rising wrote a blog entry in which he described how he and his classmates were bussed to the side of a highway where Saddam Hussein, Raed Jarrar's NATIONAL LEADER, was scheduled to pass in a motorcade.
We waited and waited...1 hour 2 hours, 3, 4, finally after 5 hours had gone by we get the order to stand by the side of the highroad; Papa was coming and we can hear him coming nearer just by the increasing loudness of the chanting. And it was nearly our turn to show our appreciation in the way all loyal Iraqis had learned to do so well. Saddam’s convoy was almost upon us and we began to shout that famous Iraqi chant “Bil rooh, Bil Dem, Nifdeek ya Saddam” (with life, with blood, we sacrifice for you Saddam).

His open car convoy approaches slowly, His special bodyguards line up next to us pushing away any over excited kid who might in someway pose a danger to papa. His convey gets nearer and nearer and I’m gripped with both excitement, fear, and curiosity, Then I see him in his open hood car sitting there no more than 5 or 10 meters away from me, next to him this strangely dressed Gulf Arab Sheik. Who is this other man I thought immediately?

The convoy passes by and the moment was gone forever. A few minutes go by and we get back to our busses. Our teachers gather us back onto the busses and we head back to college. Of course we had to wait for a couple of hours more for the ok from the security/ army people that the road is finally clear. And with the ok given the thousands of students and the hundreds of busses began their jostle back to Baghdad,
I got back home around 9pm at night. My mother was worried and in fits of tears, she thought I was kidnapped or killed or something. A natural instinct.

So who was that man and what really was going on?

It turns out that the King of Saudi Arabia was honouring us with his visit, and naturally to honour this esteemed guest back, Papa Saddam had decided to demonstrate his power, and the love of his people, by lining the whole of the 10-15 mile highway with children and school kids.
There will be one more motorcade ride for Papa Saddam, when he is transferred to the building or scaffold where he will meet Death and have Eternal Judgment passed on him.

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Right now Saddam Hussein, the Arab Saladin (the real Saladin was Kurdish), sits in a small jail cell and refuses to eat Fruit Loops. Upon learning about Saddam's current situation, Vahal has a few pertinent questions.
Okay I have a question, why the hell does this monster get served doritos anyway? Whatever happened to the good old loaf of bread and a cup of water? Or is that a violation of human rights? Doritos is a snack, a snack is a privilege, a privilege Saddam took away from millions of Iraqi children during the decade of the sanctions.

As if that's not outrageous enough, the soldiers also said that Saddam spends his time reading poetry while smoking cigars. Cigars? What is it a prison or a bar? Where does he get his cigars? Whose tax dollars pay for this genocidal monster's cigars?

There are more pressing issues, but effective immediately, I will not buy Doritos (sorry I know it's not their fault but I can't have anything in common with that savage). Also, I will change my cereal to Fruit Loops only!
Hey, Doritos must have some connection to Halliburton, right?

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Fayrouz has posted a blog entry called Stop Whining and Start Rebuilding, and it has generated by far the liveliest discussion this week on the comments pages of the Iraqi Blogosphere.

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Hey, whatever happend to Rachel, a Brit in London? I haven't seen her anywhere on the comments pages. Could she have relocated to Baghdad and joined Riverbend, the Doleful Dame of Baghdad, on her couch in the TOP SECRET BA'ATHIST BAT CAVE? With Riverbend, it's not about the glass being half-full or half-empty. For her, it's ALWAYS EMPTY, year in and year out.

Hm. Riverbend as Batman and Rachel as Robin. Could work.

Rachel to Riverbend: Holy Dorito-Chomping Saladin, Riverbend!

Zaaaaaaap!

Swaaaaak!

Pow!

Zooooonk!

Stay tuned! In NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE, Riverbend and Rachel battle the democracy-loving Iraqi citizens! Riverbend and Robin working to bring back their NATIONAL LEADER! Der Fuehrer!

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