Thursday, May 05, 2005

The In T View: Sandmonkey - No Monkeying Around For This Rising Star Of The Blogosphere

He's Snarky, Delightful, a Strong Advocate
Of Democratic Reform in the Kingdom of the
Nile, and not afraid to ask and answer the
tough questions about Egypt, the Middle East,
and the World in his Fine Blog:
Rantings of a Sandmonkey

And in the In T View: Sandmonkey - No Monkeying Around For This Rising Star Of The Blogosphere,
Sam Adams aka The Sandmonkey snarkily pontificates on Egypt, Democracy, Women, Kicking-Back the Sandmonkey Way, Mubarak, Corruption,
Blogging, the Red Sox, and much, much more.

It's The In T View: Sandmonkey - No Monkeying Around For This Rising Star Of The Blogosphere

MG: Yo Yo Yo Sandmonkey in da Pyramid
- How are you?

Sandmonkey: I am doing fine Ghostie. Yourself?

MG: What does Mubarak rhyme with?

Sandmonkey: You know, I can't seem to
find a good English rhyme to Mubarak. I even
used a rhyming dictionary. I can give you
an Arabic rhyme to it though : Homarak.
Your Arabic readers can explain to you
what it means.

MG: What must Mubarak do to engender a
more representatative government in Egypt and
how do you bring about Democratic Elections
in Egypt without allowing repressive
Islamicists like the Muslim Brotherhood
from taking over the country?

Sandmonkey: Declare Egypt to be a secular country and create a solid constitution that
follows a lot of the American one and make it
the army's job to protect the constitution from
any attempts of messing with it. That and
improving the educational system in Egypt,
cause u know, the MB, they strive on the
ignorance of most Egyptians. That's probably
the sane and long-term solution. In the short
term he can just employ Nasser tactics and
throw them all in jails. It worked in the
60's, should work now!

MG: Do Sandmonkeys like to eat Bananas or have their Bananas eaten?

Sandmonkey: Have their Bananas eaten. At least the Egyptian ones. Can't speak for all the sandmonkeys you know, especially that I hear
that the Saudi sandmonkeys just love to eat
bananas. You probably thought they just wanted
to separate women and men for religious reasons. That's a big lie man,: they just want to get
rid of the competition. ;)

MG: Do you ever think about taking all
the sand in the Sahara Desert, melting it down,
and building giant 1000-foot Tall Glass
Dinosaurs all over North Africa?

Sandmonkey: If all the sand is gone,
on what are we supposed to put those glass dinosaurs?

MG: You went to school in the Athens of America, the Hub, Beantown, good ol' "Love that Dirty Water, Boston you're my Home" Massachusetts. What are your favorite memories of Boston?

Sandmonkey: Hell yeah Beantown. Oh god,
so many good memories. But I guess I will never forget the superbowl riots, u know, when the Patriots won? Holy shit man. There was girls flashing their boobs, kids climbing trees and flipping cars, people starting fires in the middle of the street, cops everywhere. Chaos and drunken pandemonium. God I loved it! I am a big fan of riots.

MG: Did the Red Sox win the World
Series, because you got your Snarky Ass
out of Massachusetts just in the nick of time?

Sandmonkey: Man, don't remind me. I
feel like I took their curse with me. I
spend 5 years there hoping that the Sox
win, and 3 weeks after I leave, just 3
weeks, they finally win the World Series
and reverse the curse. I saw them do it
alone at home wearing my Red Sox t-shirt
and drinking a beer all by my lonesome.
IT SUCKED! And I even missed the RIOT.
I had plans for the Best Buy across the
street man, u know?

MG: Will a Moslem ever become Pope?

Sandmonkey: Hey, we live in a world
where a poor black kid can grow up to be a
child molesting rich white man, so I am
guessing anything is possible. Right?

MG: How did you become interested in Blogging, and how did your Blog:
Rantings of a Sandmonkey
come about?

Sandmonkey: Well, I was bored, I was
waiting for my visa and I was fed up by the
ignorant idiotic shit people were parroting
all around me without thinking about it first.
The people drove me nuts with their excuses and their conspiracy theories, and I realized that
many Egyptian bloggers exist where they spewed
that shit out on the open making us look like morons. So I decided to provide an alternative opinion, if you will, to the world and inform
them that there are pro-American people out
there. You know?

MG: Have you received criticism for
using what some would consider an offensive
term in the naming of your Blog?

Sandmonkey: Well, when I first heard the
term sandmonkey I thought it was hilarious. I
really did. And when I came back to Egypt and
the US embassy was giving me shit about getting
my entry visa renewed, I used to bitch to my friends – who couldn't understand why they
just won't give it to me since I am the most
pro US person they knew- that it was
because I was a sandmonkey to them. So I
decided to change the use of the word and
decided to turn it into something positive,
u know, the way black people use the N word
in reference to one another? The only
person who criticized my use of it is
Magdee, but he probably just did it
to get some traffic going to his blog.
He does the same thing at Big Pharaoh's
website , so I really can't hold it
against him. You know?

MG: Besides your own Blog, what other
Blogs do you like to peruse?

Sandmonkey: Hmm, on the political side
I love to read Stefania, Iraq the model, Big Pharaoh, HEALING iRAQ IBC of course, Kungfu
Kat, My vast right wing conspiracy, Nadz,
Andrew Sullivan and Hellme. I also sometimes
read Raed's blog just so I can laugh my ass
off at his lunacy. On the personal side I
love Highlander, Egyptiansally and Josie's
blogs. Basically run down my favorites list
and that's the blogs I love to read.

MG: What does the Sandmonkey do, after
a long day of Sandmonkeyness, to wind down?
Does the Sandmonkey have a Heffneresque Playboy
Love Pad with Mirrored Ceilings, Revolving
Heart-Shaped Vibrating Velvet Bed, a
well-stocked Champagne Bar, Disco Balls,
Laser Lights, a Velvet Elvis, and a Karoeke
Machine playing the Greatest Hits of Duran

Sandmonkey:Duran Duran? Did you just
say Duran Duran? Man, if I am gonna chose an
80's band I would go with Queen. As for the
pad, I wish. Having something like that in
Egypt is hella expensive. What I usually do
is go to my place, call the boys and girls,
go out, or I just go home and either hook
up my Ipod, sit on my lazyboy and read a
book, or I sit down and play Halo2 on my
XBOX and kill goddamn aliens.

MG: Is there a particular Pharoah that inspires you?

Sandmonkey: Hehehe! You can definitely
say so. Good Ole GM. God bless him. He
definitely encouraged me when I got started,
you know? He is the first one to send traffic
my way. But you can say we inspire each other
and we keep each other honest. Unlike popular opinion amongst some Egyptian bloggers, me
and him don't always see eye to eye and we definitely have our disagreements. He is more
of a centrist when it comes to his political positions, while I am definitely more on the
right. But we have that whole "I will respect
your opinion even if I don't agree with it"
thing going, so it's all good.

MG: What's your favorite Body Part on
a Woman?

Sandmonkey: Her stomach. Nothing sexier
than a flat defined stomach. Then her Ass. I
am definitely an Ass man. I don't understand
men who prefer boobs before Ass. Boobs are
way down on my list man.

MG: Will a Woman ever become President
of Egypt?

Sandmonkey: A woman already is.
Suzanne Mubarak gets to do everything she
wants. That women is really the one in
charge man. But if u mean elected
democratically I would say that it
would take a long time for that to happen.

MG: Your Favorite Band and Why?

Sandmonkey: Well, it used to be Aerosmith, but then they Massivly SOLD OUT (Superbowl show
with NSYNC and Britney Spears anyone?). So now
I am big on Maroon 5. I never tire of their
cd man. It's cool, it's chill, the ladies love
it and "Through with you" is probably one of
the best break-up songs to come up in the past
5 years.

MG: On the 1 - 10 Scale of Mid East Corruption, where Israel is about a 2 and Saudi Arabia and Iran about a 10, where does Egypt rank?

Sandmonkey: 11! We are definitely more corrupt then Saudi and Iran.

MG: And speaking of corruption in Egypt,
how bad is the interaction between drug dealers
and the police in Egypt? Are a lot of the police taking a cut of the illegal drug trade?

Sandmonkey: The interaction is great man.
I would say that a big percentage do take a cut
of the illegal drug trade one way or another.
If not, they get bribed by them all the time.
Oh well!

MG: If you could meet anyone in the
World, who would it be?

Sandmonkey: Alive or dead? If Alive, it
would be Jim Carrey. I would love to take acid
and take the white house tour with Jim Carrey.
I think that would be fun. Dead, I would have
to say Ayn Rand. I know it's a cliché that a libertarian wants to meet her, but that women
wrote in her books things in the 1930's that
I see applying in Egyptian society today.
I would love to sit down and pick her brain,
you know?

MG: Egypt and Israel seem to be more cooperative as of late, do you think there will
be a broadening of realtions between the two countries?

Sandmonkey: Nope. It's the kiss of death
for any politician to do that. The only reason why the 2 are cooperating was because Mubarak wanted to please the US so that it wouldn't end up opposing a 5th term of his rule. As you can see, his plan failed miserably.

MG: What if Animals suddenly discovered
they were all Naked?

Sandmonkey: Dude, they already know.
All animals are nudists swingers. You didn't
know that?

MG: What's the Numero Uno, Top of the
Heap, Number One Way to Combat Terrorism?

Sandmonkey: For muslim males to have lots and lots of sex and a good time. You give someone sex in this life, and they won't blow themselves up in order to have sex in the afterlife. That's just my own personal theory and I could be wrong!

MG: I've come to the conclusion, that
there's a smoldering Love Affair between the
Middle East and Jennifer Aniston's hair. How
did this seismic upheval in the
social-geo-politics of an entire region
come about?

Sandmonkey: I don't know man. It's a
mystery to me too!

MG: Can you explain what the Arab
Parallel Universe or APU is? Isn't that the
guy from The Simpsons?

Sandmonkey: Hey, I love APU. And no,
the A.P.U. and him are not the same thing.
It's basically the alternative reality that
most arabs love to live in, instead of you
know, the actual reality. Go read my post
on it. It should explain it better.

MG: Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream?

Sandmonkey: Chocolate Chip cookie dough

MG: Twenty years from today, will the
Mid East look radically different than it is

Sandmonkey: Yes it will. It will be
divided between those countries that are
joining the modern world, and those whose
rulers refuse to do what's best for their
people. I just hope Egypt isn't in that
last category.

MG: Thanks Very Much Sandmonkey for
a Nice Interview and final question: Have
you ever seen a Ghost?

Sandmonkey: You are welcome man. And no, can't say I did. Now genies, that's a different story. But never a ghost.

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