Monday, May 30, 2005

The In T View: Kat Proudly From The Midwest

Kung Fu Kat Chopper and her dog are saddled on the Cat Chopper built for CATERPILLAR by Orange County Choppers, take visual tour "The toughest bike ever built by OCO."

She may be in The Middle Ground, but never in the Muddled Ground. That is Blogger, Kat From The Midwest, who showcases a strong intellect and the cold hard truths and facts in her scholarly blog: The Middle Ground, with its Hard-Charging
Poignant look at World Events, Emerging
Democracies, the Middle East, U.S. Policy, the American Military, and the Midwest Scene.

It's The In T View: Kat Proudly From The Midwest

The In T View and Artwork/Photography by Mister Ghost & Diane Carriere

MG: Hello Kat, How are you?

Kat: I'm doing really great, Mister Ghost. Hope you're doing well, too.

MG: You know, if you take a strand of uncooked spaghetti and snap it, it will always break into three pieces -- try if for yourself, if you don't believe me -- Why is this?

Kat: Um…I'm no physics major, but I think it has something to do with the co-efficiency of force and the density of the noodle. Then again, maybe it always wanted to be a set of triplets. Personally, I prefer mine cooked and smothered with garlic and butter, which may have something to do with your next question.

MG: So, why are you still Single?

Kat: I came really close to not being single once. Didn't work out. After I swept up the pieces of my broken heart, I spent a good portion of my time "getting ahead". Seems like time just flew by and here I am, single. Of course, some folks say I'm bossy and opinionated and that could have some effect. But, my grandma said those that listen at keyholes never hear anything good about themselves.

MG: I understand you're sort of a Biker Chick. How did this come about?

Kat: My family has always been into motorcycles. I rode my first mini bike when I was ten, then moved up to bigger bikes as I grew older. It's kind of addicting and almost Zen like, when you get out on the road and all you hear is the hum of the road and you block everything out except you, the bike, the road and the wind (and the stupid people in cars that occasionally forget to look before they change lanes).

MG: Best Truck you ever owned?

Kat: Toss up between my current F150 and an old brown Nissan that had 210,000 miles on it before it finally died. That little truck took me places. No radio, no air, four cylinder with a five speed, but it started every day until the carburetor blew a gasket, spewed fuel everywhere and caught the truck on fire. It was a sad day when I had to call the junkers to come and get her.

MG: Favorite TV Show of the moment and why?

Kat: Law and Order. Yeah, I know they said something rude about DeLay, but I love their investigative work and the courtroom scenes. Helps me practice for company meetings and debating with moonbats. Behind that, I'd say CSI, same for investigative techniques and for a second place tie, Mail Call with Sgt Ermay (yeah, I know it's cable, but that's what I really like to watch).

MG: If you could write an Emmy Award Winning TV Series, what would it be about?

Kat: "Family Reunion" would be the name and every episode would be cut directly from my life. There'd be drama, mystery, tragedy, adventure and humor. Or, I'd do a comedy show about moonbats and extremists. I wouldn't even have to write the dialogue. I could just go over to the DU, copy and paste their running rants. I couldn't bill it as a "reality show" because most of those folks aren't grounded in reality and no one would believe it's real.

MG: Do you consider yourself a Writer, and how did you become interested in Writing?

Kat: Well, no doubt by my often long posts that I like to write. I don't know if I consider myself a "writer" like a Stephen King or Tom Clancy, turning out novels all the time, but I do like to organize my thoughts through writing and some times tell amusing stories. Family and personal stories always go over well because people can recognize their own families and personal situations in those stories. It's also easier to laugh at it when it's not your own. I always loved to read and that just naturally turned into wanting to write like the greats. Probably never happen, but a girl can dream.

MG: What book has had the most influence on your life?

Kat: Wow, there are so many books that I've read, it's hard to know where to start. On pain of being called a right wing religious zealot, I'd have to say the bible. I mean, talk about a book with everything. You got family infighting, great escapes, travel, war, intrigue, love, hate, sex, poetry, miraculous endings and a moral to every story. After that, I'd say the "red badge of courage", "black beauty", "A Tale of Two Cities" and "The Taming of the Shrew" (great dialogue in that.)

MG: Your name is Kat, so the obvious question is do you have a dog?

Kat: I do. He's a mutt cross between an American pit terrier and a basset hound. Looks like a basset hound on steroids. His name is Cash, short for Cassius Clay, because he thinks he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. However, the cable guy and my last boyfriend would not agree. Boyfriend kept muttering something to the dog about, "your real name is Cujo" the last time he ever came over.

MG: So, what type of Kat are you? Are you a Scaredy Kat, a Happening Kat, a Tom Kat, a Cheshire Kat, a Kit Kat, a Top Kat - What type of Kat are you exactly?

Kat: Aunt Kat. I have the privilege of being Aunt Kat to eight so far. They love to see Aunt Kat. I fill them up with candy, buy them loud toys and then send them back to their parents.

MG: So, what's your Number One Kung Fu Move?

Kat: Roundhouse kick to moonbat heads. Coupled with my extraordinary skills of photographic memory, speed reading and quick fingers with the search engine, I can usually deliver the coup de grace with one post.

Occasionally, they don't learn and keep coming back for more. But that just gives me practice.

MG: You live in Missouri, and Missouri is the Show Me state. So what exactly would you be showing me?

Kat: A loaded question. I could show you some great fishing spots and fantastic roads for bike riding. Or, I could show you my tattoo. Wanna see?

MG: What was out there, before the beginning of the Cosmos?

Kat: The end of a previous cosmos. The alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. At the end of everything is the beginning. (if that's too cryptic, think "circle of life")

MG: If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Kat: Believe it or not, I'd like to ride to the Grand Canyon. Kind of pedestrian, I know, but I saw it when I was a kid and only vaguely recall what it looks like; flew over it many times in a plane. I'd love to ride my bike to it and just stand at the edge and look at one of the natural wonders of the world.

MG: Would a dream date for you, be a night out on the town pillaging and looting with Muqtada al-Sadr, Famed Corpulent Iraqi Wannabee Leader? Okay, so what truly is a Romantic Evening for you?

Kat: Muqty wouldn't last an hour with me. He'd be swearing allegiance to the great Satan by time he got off the back of my bike. Seriously, a romantic evening out would be something really simple, like dinner, midnight bowling and then long hours of chatting over coffee at a little diner. Then again, I wouldn't complain if a guy took me to the Hereford House for nice juicy, medium rare KC Strip and then dancing at a little club I know. (PS..vegans and members of PETA need not apply)

MG: What is your Favorite Iraqi Blog?

Kat: It's ITM of course. They were the first blog I ever read and the place I had the most fun meeting people and smacking the moonbats down. Their stories and information are some of the best on the web if you want to know what life in Iraq was and is like. Of course, there are so many others that I read on a regular basis (that's why I don't have a big selection of TV programs I like to watch; rather be reading and collecting info on the net).

MG: Who, in your opinion, is the Sexiest Iraqi Blogger? Is it Sam from Hammorabi? He's very mysterious and mysterious equals sexy, I think.

Kat: Mister Ghost, I do declare! What a question to ask a lady. *fanning myself* If you must know, I think it's a toss up between Omar and Mohamed. Very cute. But Sam definitely has that mysterious, sexy 007 thing going on and he does seem to have some info before others. He's like the Drudge Report of Iraq.

MG: Speaking of Sam, he reported that one of the Terrorists they had captured in Iraq, had confessed to torturing people by pulling out their eyeballs before he killed them. Do you think the Mainstream Media in this country would devote more attention to this story, if the terrorist made his victims wear panties on their heads and flushed down a couple of Korans?

Kat: No. The only way it would get more coverage is if he suddenly came out with a confession that he was a born again Christian that attended Bob Jones University, was a faithful follower of Falwell, slept in the Lincoln bedroom during the First Bush administration, had secret documents showing that President Bush hadn't completed his National Guard Service and had once snorted a line of coke with the President in Kennebunkport while Barbara Bush made them cookies in case they got the munchies and Laura Bush danced naked on the coffee table with a lampshade on her head.

MG: Famed Terrorist Honcho Abu Musab al-Zarqawi: It seems like, if you believe the Media in Iraq, that he's been captured in every Iraqi City so far. Do you think he'll be doing a "I've Been Captured in Every Small Iraqi Village Now Too" 2005 Summer Tour or that he's exited stage left from Iraq and Life for good?

Kat: Oh, I hate to make speculations on the "for good" part, but I have an idea that his manager is going to come out again and say he is shortening his tour schedule for awhile due to strained vocal chords. I guess they don't give voice lessons at the mosque on how to use your diaphragm when screaming "allahu akbar" a thousand times while blowing stuff up and beheading people. I heard they're refusing to refund the tickets. Of course, you know I'd love to hear that he had to retire for good. I never did like his music anyway.

MG: Where do you think the WMDs that were allegedly present in Iraq are?

Kat: I'd say that some of them were destroyed and some of them are spread all over the ME. I mean, the guy sent his airplanes to Iran (that took some cajones since he'd just got through blowing the crud out of them a few years before) and most of the ba'athist slugs that could escape went to Syria. I'm pretty sure that the distribution didn't occur over night or just in the few months leading up to the war. Small truckloads smuggled out, not big diesel convoys that would be detected by satellite and the flyovers we were doing. Also, you don't have to take whole missiles out on flat beds if you want to keep the technology. Just dismantle the warheads and send them off. I also imagine that some of it made its way through Ansar al Islam into AQ and other Islamist nutjob hands. Not too much, mind you, just enough to give them a start and settle any operational demands they had for tribute against them attacking inside his country. These are strictly my speculations of course.

MG: The Hypocrisy of the Left: Liberals and their Mainstream Media Minions had a Huge Meltdown over the Alleged Flushing of the Quaran in Guantanamo, an event that didn't happen, but nevertheless provoked a massive outcry against the Evil Bush Administration desecrating Islam. And yet, from Piss Christ to the Clown Eucharist, Liberals and the MSM have embraced that which desecrates Judeo-Christian symbolism. Why the Double Standard?

Kat: Well, with my minimal psycho-babble…er… analyzation skills, I'd say it's because it's easier to hurt the thing you know. Kind of like relationships. They know the buttons to push to get a rise out of people and it gives them something to talk about when there aren't enough beheadings and body counts to report. Or it could be because they've been holed up in their urban ivory towers for so long, telling each other scary stories about the hinterlands (red states) and how the "evil" fundamentalist Christians have giant crucifixes on the wall where they kneel every night for hours reading the bible, flagellating themselves and praying for Armageddon before they clean their guns, check to make sure the bazooka is operational, beat their wives and then drain the blood from little liberal children to put in their grits and fry their bacon in.

MG: When's the last time you were really drunk and really happy about it?

Kat: You know, I think the last time I was "really happy about it" would have to be my 26th birthday. I had 12 shots of tequila and one shot of kamikaze. Of course, I actually didn't remember much after the 9th shot of tequila. Fortunately, my friends were there later to remind me about the four shots that came after. Every time after that didn't end very well.

MG: Do you have a favorite comic strip?

Kat: Kathy. Eternally single, job is a pain the rump, parents don't understand her and the boyfriend freaks every time she even hints at "settling down".

MG: If you could be any Super Hero or Super Heroine, who would you be?

Kat: Wonder Woman. I always wanted that nifty tiara, bracelets that could deflect bullets and a lasso of truth.

MG: Is there any hope for Europe?

Kat: Nope. Europe will collapse politically or economically in the next decade or so and then be rebuilding itself from the ashes once again, probably still not having learned their lesson. The Eastern European countries will just stand back and watch them explode. I mean, when you've got unemployment like a Latin American country, debt up to your eyebrows, politicians (Chirac) trying to hold on to their power to avoid prosecution and a built in insurgency, there isn't much hope. Besides, it's been over half a century since they tried to kill each other. From an historical perspective, they're about due for another European war.

MG: Who will stop the Mullahs from making Iran a Nuclear State?

Kat: I hate to be pessimistic, but "nobody". The Euros are too weak, we're tied up with Afghanistan and Iraq; Russia needs money to prop up the crappy economy and stave off another revolution and if Israel strikes, the whole area will probably explode considering everything is a Zionist plot to rule the world. I imagine we'll wake up one day in a couple of years to news reports that Iran tested their first nuclear warhead, like North Korea, Pakistan and India. The best we can hope for is that this next election really pisses the Iranian populace off and they go for fullscale revolution, dumping the Mullahs. I just think it's ironic that people thought it would be the US and the USSR that would cause nuclear holocaust and the biggest threat is now the ME and Asian countries turning each other into glass parking lots.

MG: Why do my pens always seem to run out of ink while I'm writing?

Kat: Don't chew on the ends. That big black inky spot on your shirt pocket isn't a good sign either. (MG says: I never chew on my pens, they just mysteriously run out of ink all the time.)

Inspired by a photograph used for the article "Crowd behavior in markets: Part ten: Obedience"

MG: How did you become interested in Blogging, and how did your Blog: The Middle Ground come about?

Kat: I read a newspaper article about blogs and information that could be had about Iraq. My brother had volunteered to go over and I was looking for information on the situation since the regular news sources sucked so much. The article directed me to ITM. After having incredible conversations with some of the crazy "blood for oil" people in the comment section, I was tired of looking up the same info again and again to combat their bat doo-doo. So, I decided to start a blog and bust "conspiracies". It's all history after that. I guess you could say that the Fahdil brothers are my blogfathers.

MG: Besides your own Blog, are there other Blogs that you like to read and can recommend?

Kat: Besides ITM and Sam (with the long list of Iraqi blogs on the sidebar), I'd say my favorite place is Blonde Sagacity.
She's a "South Park Republican" that has a core of right and left commenters that keep the conversation lively. I'd also recommend Mudville Gazette; This Is Your War; Major K and Strength and Honor; and my all time two favorites for snarky humor would be Sandmonkey (our intrepid reporter from the APU) and Anti-Idiotarian Rotteweiler if you wanna see everyone and everything getting chewed a new butthole with humor. There are so many others, I feel like a Hollywood Starlet on Oscar night trying to remember to thank everyone. Oh..and (sucking up big time) Iraqi Bloggers Central, of course. I read it every day so I can find out who's got the good stuff and where the fire works are on the Iraqi blogs.

MG: A Little Birdy tells me, that you have a lot of Admirers among your Blog Commentators and have even received a Marriage Proposal. How do you feel about this?

Kat: Well, I don't think he was serious when he proposed. Besides, I think his wife would object vehemently. But, I really appreciate all the people I've met through my blog and other blogs. It's been a great learning experience and has certainly helped me make a number of fantastic friendships.

MG: Uzbekistan: Some Crazy Dictator-run, God-forsaken, Central Asian nation that most American could care less about, never mind spelling its name correctly. Why should we give a hoot and don't pollute about Uzbekistan?

Kat: Well, strategically, the place is a stepping off point for conflict in Iran or Syria or just in general being in the area. Some folks are afraid we're acting like the "police" of the world, but I believe we've got a number of strategies working at the same time. Many folks don't get on the internet and read all the info, but Zawahiri wrote in his book, "Knights Under the Prophets Banner" that the plan was to set up the new Islamic caliphate in an arch from Pakistan to Afghanistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan to Chechnya and push down to link up with Egypt and Saudi Arabia. We know Islamist separatist interesting in joining this endeavor are already in Chechnya and Uzbekistan. Last, the world gets almost 40% of its oil from the ME. If it goes hot, oil supplies will be cut. The US could survive, but countries like China and Korea get 80% of their oil from the region. You know what happens when countries lose their main resources and their economies collapse? They go out looking for new resources and it isn't always peacefully through commerce. Those are just a few reasons why we ought to care about Uzbekistan. What I'd love to see is a real democracy movement there that we could support and wasn't tied up with a bunch of Islamist groups.

MG: Is Moammar Ghaddafi, the Most Stylin' Dictator on the Planet?

Kat: OMG! I mean, where does he get his kaftans? Honestly, with the female bodyguards, the jet planes, pimped out cars and his entourage I've been trying to decide if he's with the east coast or west coast rappers. Nice sunglasses, too, although, someone should tell him they went out in the 70's.

MG: Thanks Very Much, Kat, for a Nice Interview, and final question: Have you ever seen a Ghost?

Kat: You're welcome, Mister Ghost. I have seen a ghost. He used to live in our attic and we called him "George". My grandma always swore he was wearing a cheap suit and a fedora. What was weird was when we were remodeling the attic and found some old papers behind the paneling. It was a checkbook, some news clippings and two pictures of a guy in a suit and a fedora. The name on the paperwork was… George Stillwell Happy Memorial Weekend to the IBC crew and don't forget to remember all those who served and died to give us the freedom we use to read this blog.

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