Wednesday, March 02, 2005



Smash and kill the Taliban.

Check. I watched the Taliban ambassadors in Pakistan running from the TV cameras as the Taliban fell apart, those two who had been warning the US of the "death and destruction" they would unleash on us! Jerks. One was killed and the other captured.

Set up democratic elections in Afghanistan.

Check. Millions of Blue Fingers, men AND women.

Smash the Ba'ath regime, kill or capture Saddam Hussein, and kill or capture Uday and Qusay.

Check. "We got him!" Pulled Saddam out of a spiderhole yelling like a girl, "Don't shoot!" Arab champion? Yeah, riiiiiiiight. Iraqis said they wanted to see the bodies of Uday and Qusay. No problem, we showed them their bullet-riddled, puffy, decaying corpses. Everyone got REAL QUIET.

Hey, maybe Saddam is a secret Trekker and he thought that the spiderhole was a WORMHOLE. He wanted to pop into another dimension where he could start tending a new set of killing fields. Sorry, Saddam, you got dragged out and PUNCHED in the face by a pissed-off Real Iraqi Patriot!

Make Ghaddafi squirm and cough up his nuclear arms.

Check. Ghaddafi said, "I don't want to get pulled out of a hole like Saddam." He handed over everything. Arab champion? No.

Set up democratic governance in Iraq.

Check. Over 8 million Purple Fingers on January 30.

Put pressure on Assad.

Check. Syria's days in Lebanon are numbered.

Put pressure on Mubarak.

Check. Mubarak is now talking of real, competitive elections. We'll see on this one.

And Bush's second term has only just begun.


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