Friday, February 18, 2005

Armor Geddon Heading Home

Neil at Armor Geddon is heading home, but he has promised us that he will finish the rest of his Fallujah saga. Meanwhile, he tells us about a little episode from a few days ago.
The other day, we were escorting the deputy governor to Baqubah when a guy pulled up to us and blew himself up in his car, while trying to take us out. Hilarious! He only managed to kill himself. The BEST part is that his jackass terrorist friend was videotaping it and Al-Jazeera aired it, reporting that a bomber rammed the deputy governor and 3 Americans died. Our only casualty was a slightly cracked windshield. And he didn't ram us, he pulled off on the shoulder and detonated. Does Dan Rather work for Al-Jazeera? If anyone can tell me where to find that video clip on the internet, a lot of us in my company are curious as to whether they taped it while hiding in a certain village.

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I'm sitting here -- in my ripped blue jeans, of course -- and thinking back to that arse-licking interview that Dan Rather had with Saddam Hussein before the war. Does anyone remember that? Man, what a fricking joke.

Does anyone remember the last news article that Peter Arnett ever wrote? Yeah, the one he typed just after being raised onto the shoulders of jubilant Iraqis in Baghdad's Sadr City and being marched around shouting, "Bush! Bush!"

Heh heh indeed, to quote Glenn Reynolds.

Can we please fly Dan Rather and Peter Arnett and Michael Moore onto some remote island and set up some Survivor-type scenario.

Now THAT would be Must-See TV!

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Peggy Noonan has written a very good piece on blogs and journalism.

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Steven Vincent was in Karbala during last year's Ashura. As usual, he tells a gripping story that also includes on-the-money analysis.

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Riverbend really outdoes herself today. She tells us about a conversation she had with the guy that sells vegetables down the street. She had walked there hoping to whip up a little anti-American fervor in him.
“So do you still think the Americans want to turn Iraq into another America? You said last year that if we gave them a chance, Baghdad would look like New York.” I said in reference to a conversation we had last year. E. gave me a wary look and tried to draw my attention to some onions, “Oh hey- look at the onions- do we have onions?”
It doesn't take much to feel Riverbend's anticipation for a lovely bashing of the Americans. The Baathist has flown out of her Bat Cave and is perched on top of the cow and ready to drink some blood.
Abu Ammar shook his head and sighed, “Well if we’re New York or we’re Baghdad or we’re hell, it’s not going to make a difference to me. I’ll still sell my vegetables here.”
Huh?!

Riverbend wasn't expecting this answer. Clearly ticked off that Abu Ammar isn't going to froth at the mouth about the "occupation," she moved on to the next target.
I nodded and handed over the bags to be weighed. “Well… they’re going to turn us into another Iran. You know list 169 means we might turn into Iran.” Abu Ammar pondered this a moment as he put the bags on the old brass scale and adjusted the weights.
That ought to piss him off, we can hear Riverbend thinking.
And is Iran so bad?” He finally asked.
WTF! Riverbend, the Doleful Dame of Baghdad is NOW Baathically Pissed Off!

What an ungrateful jerk this Abu Ammar has turned out to be! He's not a knee-jerk Anti-American and he doesn't want to hang a few Shia for fun. How our long-suffering Uber-Hero Riverbend pines for the old days when they would have tossed his ass into Abu Ghraib and pulled out the jumper cables!

What's left for Riverbend?
Well no, Abu Ammar, I wanted to answer, it’s not bad for *you* - you’re a man… if anything your right to several temporary marriages, a few permanent ones and the right to subdue females will increase. Why should it be so bad? Instead I was silent. It’s not a good thing to criticize Iran these days. I numbly reached for the bags he handed me, trying to rise out of that sinking feeling that overwhelmed me when the results were first made public.
Of course, of course. NOW the Shia victory at the polls is a feminist issue.

And then for good measure, Riverbend spends the rest of her entry pissing on the Shia and their "immoderate" views of Islam.

Riverbend, the Doleful Dame of Baghdad, later returned to her Baathist Bat Cave a little less sure of her THOUSAND-YEAR REICH.

Well, at least she got off the couch.

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Baghdad becoming New York?!

Now everyone here knows that I have the greatest respect for my Iraqi friends, but to Abu Ammar and Riverbend and E. I say . . .

IN YOUR DREAMS, YOU MOTHERS!!!

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