Thursday, January 06, 2005

Mohammed at ITM: Elections in Iraq, All Systems Go!

Mohammed at Iraq the Model reports from inside Iraq, giving us news from the north and south and center of the country. He summarizes:
The people have chosen to hold the elections and our friends have decided to support the people in this choice and this combination is stronger than those who stand against the elections in order to keep an unelected government so that the have an excuse to fight it and keep it weak.

They know that the formation of an elected government means that the majority of Iraqis will be supporting this government and this will make it even harder for the terrorists to fight it because they will be fighting legitimacy itself and the nation itself.

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Hey, remember those X-Ray Vision Glasses that used to be advertised in the back of Popular Mechanics? They allowed you to see through things, right?

Professor Sandmonkey announced today that within two weeks there will be an IPO for shares of his new company, MonkeyVision. MonkeyVision Goggles allow its user to see into and through the Arab Parallel Universe!
So, in summary and conclusion, the 7 political rules of the APU are:

1) Arabs never make mistakes, and they rarely lose wars.
2) The Zionists and the Americans are always to blame for everything that is wrong in the APU.
3) If there is any credit at all that can be contributed to Arabs in any way, they will take it.
4) Good leadership is inversely related to how US-friendly a leader is!
5) Any media that is not the official state-owned media is filled with Zionist, Jewish, American, Christian, imperialist, anti-arab influences and they LIE ALL THE TIME!
6) There is really no need for elections in the APU, because Presidents and rulers are presidents and rulers for life.
7) The only viable alternative candidate to the current leader or president is this current leader or president’s son.

Hope that helped explain some of the confusing discrepancies that you may encounter from having those 2 parallel universes existing in the same reality. Mind you, those are only the political rules. There are other rules concerning economics , social traditions and norms, but those will be covered in future posts.

This is the Sandmonkey, from the APU, signing off!

Condoleeza Rice has already purchased a pair of MonkeyVision Goggles. Go to Professor Sandmonkey's weblog NOW (shameless plug #4) and learn more about this amazing technical breakthrough!

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Regular Iraqi Bloggers Central commenter Mister Ghost (and 2-time Zing!Zing!Zing! Award Winner) reports back from the frontlines of the blogosphere, the smell of cordite still on his clothes:
Check out the fuming Kurdo, the wishy-washy Sullivan relying on Juan Cole's views, Lee C. [Sheriff Lee C., that is] for Communist lecturing on the Geneva Convention over at Sam's, Ladysweetie in a great posting mood, the Palestinian Nazi Youth League photo at LGF, DEBKA has an interesting report on a drone crashing at one of the Iranian nuclear facilities, upsurge of Indonesian support for the US at Drudge.

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Winds of Change has provided the most complete and link-rich overview of the Battle of Fallujah so far.

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